Yet another poem I have written so if you don't like poems don't read :D
You shot across my way so fast,
it feels like a brief moment ...
First moments when I saw you,
I was confused and didn't know what to say.
I didn't trust what I saw,
I was skeptical and thought is was an illusion.
As any person would do,
I eventually wen along with it,
believing every word and picture,
wishing every single one of them,
would last just a little bit longer.
Now a change of course has come our way,
making the road unpredictable.
I start to wonder how many storms we will ride through,
or how many beautiful sunsets we'll see together.
I think of how our road together was meant to be ...
Was it meant to be long?
Short?
Smooth or full of bumps?
There are so many things to wonder over,
yet the answer itself,
lays on the blind road ahead ...
In the end,
I guess I don't really care what the eventual outcome is,
I just want you to know,
that for all the bad I am sorry,
and for all the good I am grateful.
Simply,
I just wish for one more brief moment with you ...
Spare me, spare you
(Warrning this is a poem .. just so you know in case you're not a poem person :D)
You see me and you judge me,
you judge me by what i wear,
you judge me by how I act.
But do you know what is inside me?
Do you know how i feel about things,
or what I've been through?
Is it so fun to look down on me
without learning a single fact?
I also feel bad when bad words are said to me,
I might not show it out,
I might even smile and laugh,
but every time I break a little inside.
How do YOU feel when YOU'RE insulted?
It doesn't feel good now does it?
Every bad word you say to me
will eventually break me down slowly.
So please, not only spare my feelings,
but also everyone elses.
You see me and you judge me,
you judge me by what i wear,
you judge me by how I act.
But do you know what is inside me?
Do you know how i feel about things,
or what I've been through?
Is it so fun to look down on me
without learning a single fact?
I also feel bad when bad words are said to me,
I might not show it out,
I might even smile and laugh,
but every time I break a little inside.
How do YOU feel when YOU'RE insulted?
It doesn't feel good now does it?
Every bad word you say to me
will eventually break me down slowly.
So please, not only spare my feelings,
but also everyone elses.
Blowing off steam ..
For those little interested in this blog in particular .. it ain't a story this time so sorry about that in advance :).
.....
For those rare ones visiting my blog (why the hell do i keep mis-writing the word blog and put the word blong instead O_o ??) I wanna say sorry for not updating this place with anything new. To be honest I am having quite the writers block or am stuck on the same spot for a story that might otherwise be interesting. But I sincerely promise to try and get back to writing stories .. But since I currently don't have one I can perhaps sum up my boring little year for your amusement :D.
TO START WITH ....
2013 beginning (from where I left off) ... I had just recently moved in with my Grandparents since the living conditions in my previous home became unbearable. At first I wasn't confident in living here cause my dear granny is sick. She got bitten by a tick and lost a lot of her memories. Now she has regained most of it and I love her for being her (but being the teenager I am, I still get a bit impatient at some of her teachings as if I were samrter than her ^^'')
2013 Summer !!!! I passed my first year of high school (in Estonia it's 10th grade not 9th like in the states) and I got my first ACTUAL job of a longer period ... i hated the hot days and the cold days .. On cold and windy days the stuff flew around like crazy sometimes and I remember, I had to finish up earlier than usually once. But one warm day there was a Harley Davidson bikers club meeting for somekind of commercial or something down the hill (ooooooh the beautiful bikes :'3 ). And a thir occasion I remember was that my best friend also thought of getting a job there and came there for a trial day .. THE BASTARD PASSED OUT FOR A SECOND !!!! .. I was barely able to finish up my job. In the summer my ex also visited from Finland (i had told him the thing off in April I think) ... The first day he got here I felt like I wanna kill him but hey .. that's my nature :D (plus he gave me reasons) but we spent a week together and had a nice time (no details for you my most likely gossip loving readers :D ). Sent him off and the rest of the summer was pretty uneventful, except I did make a new FRIEND at the end of the summer ( can you believe it? me.. making a friend :') !! )
2013 school again Q~Q.... I hated it since day one .. and i haven't gotten a single 5 ( "A" in the us system, 10 in Finnish system .. that's all i know about the systems .. ) as a period grade so far XD .. but I am trying .. To be honset school blends into one great big blob and I can't make out any difference in events XD
Finally 2014 .. I keep in touch with the idiot from Finland .. and my friend Samuli :D (I keed, my ex is a funny guy at times and we get along :) ). I am also panicking over my research paper due like in March already ( XD ), I turned legally responsible for myself just a little while back ( well shit, gotta cross so many things i could have gotten away with off my list XD ) .. OH .. and now I actually have someone I can see more often than every 3-4 months. We'll see how it goes but right now its going okay (still waiting for the time I manage to do something horribly wrong .____. )
That's about it for the year I haven't been here (without the ugly detailes :D ) and I hope to post a short story, poem or a story piece (part of a longer work in progress :D ) soon :P
Dentists
So this next one not any kind of horror or romance or whatever kind of story .. this is just something that happened to me.
basically in witch ever country you're from your dentists recommends you to come up in a half year or so right? Well same was for me .. one and a half year ago. I was a bad kid and decided not to go for a chek up well .. I wasn't exactly bad more like just lazy (still am by the way). Until one day I went over my teeth with my tongue and felt that they were broken so I thought what I got to lose. Boy was I wrong. First time went there it was fine except the dentist was all up in my face about how my teeth were too broken. I mean like I know they are I love to eat sweets so you don't have to shove it in my face* I don't blame her though she was just doing her job. so second and third time were pretty regular times too but then it happened .. the fourth time i had to go there. It was about a 30 minute visit. I was laying in the chair using the universal language of kind of grunting the yes'es and no's. I lay there my jar hurting a bit when she all of a sudden lets out this all natural Russian like high pitch "oh". I decided to stay calm and pay no intention to it even though in my head I was going crazy thinking what the hell had happened to my teeth cause lets be honest .. it's not a good thing when any kind of doctor who works ANYWHERE near your body with sharp instruments says a voice that indicates an accident. So there I was laying on the chair and about 10 minutes later she lets out another sound "mhts". It sounded like she got something wrong again. In my own head I was panicking and thinking oh god what has happened now but I STILL didn't say anything. Now I'm in the process of having a pesky tooth fixed. And until this day I haven't got the slightest idea of what she was grunting about even though i wish that I could know.
I guess my message is do as your doc says. Go for the check up and brush your damn teeth twice a day. Otherwise you'll be like me hearing your doc making weird noises as they fix your damn teeth..
And to the end a joke I heard from my dad a little while back about teeth
An old man is in the bathroom and the wife asks
"What are you doing in there?"
He replys:
"I'm brushing my teeth"
"That long?!"
"Well .. I'm brushing the real ones too."
Hope you get it :D
Have a great day, night, nightday or whatever you're having at the moment and thanks for reading.
basically in witch ever country you're from your dentists recommends you to come up in a half year or so right? Well same was for me .. one and a half year ago. I was a bad kid and decided not to go for a chek up well .. I wasn't exactly bad more like just lazy (still am by the way). Until one day I went over my teeth with my tongue and felt that they were broken so I thought what I got to lose. Boy was I wrong. First time went there it was fine except the dentist was all up in my face about how my teeth were too broken. I mean like I know they are I love to eat sweets so you don't have to shove it in my face* I don't blame her though she was just doing her job. so second and third time were pretty regular times too but then it happened .. the fourth time i had to go there. It was about a 30 minute visit. I was laying in the chair using the universal language of kind of grunting the yes'es and no's. I lay there my jar hurting a bit when she all of a sudden lets out this all natural Russian like high pitch "oh". I decided to stay calm and pay no intention to it even though in my head I was going crazy thinking what the hell had happened to my teeth cause lets be honest .. it's not a good thing when any kind of doctor who works ANYWHERE near your body with sharp instruments says a voice that indicates an accident. So there I was laying on the chair and about 10 minutes later she lets out another sound "mhts". It sounded like she got something wrong again. In my own head I was panicking and thinking oh god what has happened now but I STILL didn't say anything. Now I'm in the process of having a pesky tooth fixed. And until this day I haven't got the slightest idea of what she was grunting about even though i wish that I could know.
I guess my message is do as your doc says. Go for the check up and brush your damn teeth twice a day. Otherwise you'll be like me hearing your doc making weird noises as they fix your damn teeth..
And to the end a joke I heard from my dad a little while back about teeth
An old man is in the bathroom and the wife asks
"What are you doing in there?"
He replys:
"I'm brushing my teeth"
"That long?!"
"Well .. I'm brushing the real ones too."
Hope you get it :D
Have a great day, night, nightday or whatever you're having at the moment and thanks for reading.
"The untold story"
Yet another horror story by me that was done a long time ago already .. enjoy
..........................................
A group of scouts were sitting around the campfire telling stories for a night chill before bedtime on a warm night. <each of the kids got to tell a scary story until it was little Mayas turn. The prro soul was forced to participate in the scouts by her parents them reasoning it with her being too gloomy.
She looked every single person in the eyes around the campfire then at the old house that was barely visable in the dark through the trees. Then she started to talk:
"once, in the beginning of the 18th century, there lived a wealthy family in that house." she pointed with a stiff cold hand towards the house as everybody from the children were already shaking like leaves in the wind.
"Soon came the war forcing young men to fight for their side. During the war there were only three people left in that house: the family's little daughter who was nine, the mother and the father. The two sons of the family were off fighting in the war for freedom. In this part unfortunetly there was a secret squad waiting when the men who were able to fight properly had left. They started burning down the houses and raping the women who were pretty enough for their tastes. And yes even the hilltop house was attacked by those savages. Mother of the house was raped and then stabbed several times splattering blood everywhere including on the little girl who stood there halfway behind the curtain face expressing only horror. When the man stood up above the woman the girl screamed in terror. That ma who had killed her mother turned around and only llaughed slapping her with a firm hand. The girl fell on the floor and started to cry hysterically. Those men set the house on fire burning the little girl in with the bodies of her parents.Now they say that on full moon nights there's a little girl with brown hair and a white nightgown covered in the splatters of her mothers blood. She holds a bloody knife and her eyes .. her eyes are fully black with the color crawling out around the eyes. She raises from the ash and kills innocent people she can find and you know what she does when she kills them? .. she laughs .. and tonight .. is a full moon.." Everybody was shaking as scout master pulled Maya aside telling her to go to sleep immediately.
The next morning everybody had woken up except little Maya who was gone. Everybody looked for her half a day before one boy dared to speak up saying the following:
"After .. after we had all gone to our tents, I felt the need to pee. S-so I got out of my tent.."every kid was gasping"..and went a little away from the tents behind a tree. When i started to come back i jumped behind a tree again because I saw Maya .." everybody looked at him shocked "S-she went out the woods .." he said in only a whisper pointing towards the house behind the trees. Everybody looked towards the house shivering in fear as they slowly started to walk towards it fearing what they might find.
None of the kinds were brave enough to go in so three of he adults out of five went in to look for her. They looked from the first floors every room finding nothing but things burned to black. Everything felt as if were sucking away life. They slowly climbed up the burned stairs. Reaching the second floor a foul stench reached their noses. The stench of rotten corpses. They went to the end of the hallway to the last door on the right. Opening the door they found a pile of old corpses in the corner of the room and little Maya dead covered in her own blood. On her bared leg there was a writing carved into the skin and it went like this:
Little little Maya girl,
you have done a bitter sin,
you must pay now with your blood,
and to others I say ...
Do not tell my story to anyone,
or you must perish like this girl.
To this day little Mayas and everyone else's corpse rots in the little girls mothers room awaiting to be found again for eternity.
..........................................
A group of scouts were sitting around the campfire telling stories for a night chill before bedtime on a warm night. <each of the kids got to tell a scary story until it was little Mayas turn. The prro soul was forced to participate in the scouts by her parents them reasoning it with her being too gloomy.
She looked every single person in the eyes around the campfire then at the old house that was barely visable in the dark through the trees. Then she started to talk:
"once, in the beginning of the 18th century, there lived a wealthy family in that house." she pointed with a stiff cold hand towards the house as everybody from the children were already shaking like leaves in the wind.
"Soon came the war forcing young men to fight for their side. During the war there were only three people left in that house: the family's little daughter who was nine, the mother and the father. The two sons of the family were off fighting in the war for freedom. In this part unfortunetly there was a secret squad waiting when the men who were able to fight properly had left. They started burning down the houses and raping the women who were pretty enough for their tastes. And yes even the hilltop house was attacked by those savages. Mother of the house was raped and then stabbed several times splattering blood everywhere including on the little girl who stood there halfway behind the curtain face expressing only horror. When the man stood up above the woman the girl screamed in terror. That ma who had killed her mother turned around and only llaughed slapping her with a firm hand. The girl fell on the floor and started to cry hysterically. Those men set the house on fire burning the little girl in with the bodies of her parents.Now they say that on full moon nights there's a little girl with brown hair and a white nightgown covered in the splatters of her mothers blood. She holds a bloody knife and her eyes .. her eyes are fully black with the color crawling out around the eyes. She raises from the ash and kills innocent people she can find and you know what she does when she kills them? .. she laughs .. and tonight .. is a full moon.." Everybody was shaking as scout master pulled Maya aside telling her to go to sleep immediately.
The next morning everybody had woken up except little Maya who was gone. Everybody looked for her half a day before one boy dared to speak up saying the following:
"After .. after we had all gone to our tents, I felt the need to pee. S-so I got out of my tent.."every kid was gasping"..and went a little away from the tents behind a tree. When i started to come back i jumped behind a tree again because I saw Maya .." everybody looked at him shocked "S-she went out the woods .." he said in only a whisper pointing towards the house behind the trees. Everybody looked towards the house shivering in fear as they slowly started to walk towards it fearing what they might find.
None of the kinds were brave enough to go in so three of he adults out of five went in to look for her. They looked from the first floors every room finding nothing but things burned to black. Everything felt as if were sucking away life. They slowly climbed up the burned stairs. Reaching the second floor a foul stench reached their noses. The stench of rotten corpses. They went to the end of the hallway to the last door on the right. Opening the door they found a pile of old corpses in the corner of the room and little Maya dead covered in her own blood. On her bared leg there was a writing carved into the skin and it went like this:
Little little Maya girl,
you have done a bitter sin,
you must pay now with your blood,
and to others I say ...
Do not tell my story to anyone,
or you must perish like this girl.
To this day little Mayas and everyone else's corpse rots in the little girls mothers room awaiting to be found again for eternity.
Did you ...
In the sleepless solitude of the night,
i sit and gaze at the evening sky.
Thoughts of you flow into my head silently
as a calm creek in a wild valley.
The thought of our passionate look,
thoughts of how i feel about you,
the way you pressed your lips against mine,
and the cute habit you have.
But now our ways have pulled us to a distance,
and all you talk about is her.
May it be aggression, may it be jealousy,
may it even be just empty air.
I am just left to wonder ...
did you ever fall truly in love with me?
i sit and gaze at the evening sky.
Thoughts of you flow into my head silently
as a calm creek in a wild valley.
The thought of our passionate look,
thoughts of how i feel about you,
the way you pressed your lips against mine,
and the cute habit you have.
But now our ways have pulled us to a distance,
and all you talk about is her.
May it be aggression, may it be jealousy,
may it even be just empty air.
I am just left to wonder ...
did you ever fall truly in love with me?
"Zombie disease"
horror story.
.................
I should have listened to the crazy old hobo when he tried to warn me.
.................
I should have listened to the crazy old hobo when he tried to warn me.
Three weeks ago I came home from work to start my relaxing weekend when a dirty old man stopped me by grabbing my shirt and saying the following: "Don't leave a place with supplies enough to live ! Their all already sick. They'll get you too! Don't go !!". Then he let me go and ran away. I didn't really think much of it at the time since he smelled dirty and after booze. I write with regret not listening to him. Now his in front of my house, haunting me for not listening to him.
I've almost run out of every piece food I had.I'm lucky to have survived this far thanks to my weird habits. I've always been a panicer, fearing of a disease outbreak. And I kind of was right .. wasn't I? I've always collected food cans and dry foods that last long. Now I'm down to three cans of beans, three packs of ramen, half a pack of chips and two bottles of water I took before the water system went down. I have got to say ... going to the bathroom is disgusting. I haven't washed at all for the three weeks this has been going on.
I have to look up every weapon i got and make an attempt to escape as far as my car three houses down the street to old Mrs. Gillingers place. She's dead now. I saw her last crawling moments around the Hindricksons place. I think their still humans as well. I really hope not to be the only one living. I will write again as soon as i have collected all the weapons I can find. I hope their like the zombies in the movies otherwise I'm screwed...
***
-Day 28-
Down to one and a half cans of beans. same goes for the water .. except it's bottle not can. I've been looking out the window. The Hindricksons are indeed alive! They have seen me as well. I have to figure out how to send them a messages. I do have a crossbow so I could attach the letter to the arrow but then there would be a problem in shooting the arrow ... but I'll find a way.
I did an experiment in which i found a good surprise. The disease wont come inside the house. They haven't gone inside the other houses that seem abandoned either. They do come on the porch though which kind of sucks. Makes it harder to run out. Hopefully I will write again soon.
***
-Day 33-
I have managed to send a message to the Hindricksons. Also i have found a lot of guns I wasn't aware of in this house. Even though i don't belive in that guy ... god bless my grandparents and their secret basement-Only problem is that these few guns might not work or backfire resulting in my instant death. I have to check every little detail I know about. I hope I can reach my car or the Hindricksons place atleat. I'm running out of eatable things ...
***
I've been looking out the window to find an escape route and along that i recognized most of the diseased. Oh yeah .. day 39 ..The Hindricksons don't have food. Mr. Hindrickson came out yesterday and got captured. Now his just standing there on his own porch. I wonder how long will it be till his wife gives gives up and comes out and lets her huspand kill her with the disease.
***
-Day 41-
Guns are checked. Out of 28 only three work. Luckily I have a lot of ammo for those guns. I hope I can make it to my car. I'm out of food and I'm down to quarter bottle of water.I need to get food NOW!
***
-Day43-
Ibarely made it to my car!! I don't know where to go but it has to be out of this hellhole! I have to drive as fast as I can and as far as I can ...
***
-Day 45-
Midnight. I'm out of gas, food and water. Getting as far as I have I ran over quite a few of those fuckers. It didn't feel like driving over a log at all. It more felt like a big strong bag of thick gel with hardened pieces cracking broken in it. What was left behind was a disgusting view which made me puke ...
***
-Day 47-
Cramps of my starvation are getting stronger. Some of those diseased freaks around my car have rotten to pieces. They have surrounded me and bound to die here. They're dying around here. Maybe there's still hope for me to survive? Them dying off and lessening in numbers. But then again ... why are there new faces around my car?
.............
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